3 AM

Thoughts that are thought, yeah you guessed it, at 3am-The time one gets most existential and essentially gets lost in stoner-talk.

3. Somehwere around July or August 2020

Man, this corona thing is really scaring the sh*t out of me. Few months ago I cracked jokes and shared memes. Now that I have been at the receiving end like billions others I am starting to wish that it goes away...Yeah I am a coward...I love my life sue me. I think I am grossly underestimating the effect this will have on humanity's future and mine too. This had to come when I was about to graduate.

2.

Cautiously walking past the stray dogs I am heading towards cafeteria to grab a cup of tea.The dogs here are always starving and will hurt you on any bad day. As I walk past them I look through the corner of my eyes,afraid of turning back,to check their movements.

Ok! today they let me go.

Through the half lit road I am walking towards the tea stall. I can see people around it waiting for their late night or in some cases early morning snacks.Have people lost the sense of day and night.How come so many students are here.Were they binge watching some TV show like me or were they studying. I am positive that most of them are here just like me except few who I can hear chattering about whatever the hell they have been doing. But here is the thing.You wouldn't be awake until now if work was dearer to you. This time is for people who don't like their day.Take me for instance. I know I am not going to attend the early morning class. I know my day is packed with lectures and labs that I don't want to be in.That's why I am here. To find a momentary peace with my love for tea.

I don't even like tea that much.Just the idea of having it outside my room and the challenge it offers:pausing whatever I am watching,risking my flesh to dogs and people judging me seeing me having it alone.

Why is eating alone or being lonely considered such a strange thing.Company is overrated.I don't want to talk about the obscure things that others are observing and add commentary to it .Isn't it better to think a topic of your own and start talking to yourself about it. There is something addictive about self-talk.You listen and you talk at appropriate intervals.That seldom happens in real discussion.I can have a discussion about religion,politics or economy with myself and I can add as many participants to it as I want. Like a video game there is one real person(or ego) involved and several derived personalities. 

I finished my tea and am walking back to my lousy room.No challenges there.Just put on headphones,grab a laptop and get back to where I have paused the video.

1.

My room definitely needs to be cleaned.I misplaced my lock somewhere on floor and I am nowhere close to finding it. I don't need it right now.I hardly leave my room. And even if I do I don't have possessions to loose. But it is frustrating that I can't find it when I know how small my room is.